Today I wielded a machete, swept up bug carcasses, and ate fruit the size of my head.

I would like to think that among my many goals for my year here, growing a pair (so to speak) is one of them. The very first night here a green grasshopper the size of a small dog flew into the house and I showed my true colors to my new family. I leapt from my seat and ran to the other side of the room squealing “What is that, what is thaaat?. Like they understand what you’re, stupid. My host brother causally grabbed it by the wings and tossed it out. Well I want everyone out there to know that I AM getting better at this! I’ve noticed that changes occur pretty fast here. Today, when a roach crawled out of a book I was picking up, I threw it across the room BUT I didn’t scream. So improvements are being made.

After “school” I was walking around the house and noticed my host brother and the neighbor were using a machete to cut down large branches and small saplings in the front of the house. I, of course, walked over and asked for the machete. I wanna try, I gestured toward the machete. My neighbor, looking very confused, handed it over and why not, I guess. This is part of what he is required to do to help the family out and I want to do it for fun. Crazy gringa. So he pointed to the tree and said “That one.” I took that tree apart branch by bad-ass branch. Then I used the machete to gather the frijolios from the downed branches. After awhile, however, I got too hot and gave it back. The thrill was gone.

I walked back to the kitchen to see what was going on in there and my host auntie was carrying a bucket with a giant mass of whiteness inside. Guess what it is, she asked. They like this game here. “Guess how old I am” is their favorite. Well I am not a fan of guessing games, especially when food is involved. Cause chances are I’m gonna have to try a piece of the item in question. But “I am on an adventure!” I think to myself and so I give it sniff. It smells sour but not in the spoiled way. “Queso?” I say “QUESO!?” She says. “No sabe que es esto?” Isn’t that the point of the guessing game, lady? No, I don’t know. “Guanabana” she says and of course cuts me off a cerebellum sized chunk of this head of fruit. I shove a piece in my mouth cause “I’m on an adventure!” And guess what… it’s really good! How ‘bout that! That showed me.

And so my day continued… hot as all hell and little less eventful than the morning had been. And just before I walk this computer over to send the blog off my little cousin screams and points toward the ground. I look and “AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHhhhh…” and I’m off. My nemesis, Mr. Grasshopper, back for more! And I was starting to look so cool. Frickin’ Grasshopper.
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