If you’ve never been to a bull-riding thing, let me explain cause now I’m an expert. And by me I mean me as a bull...
“So first the rider chooses you or your compadre out of a hat. Next, when it’s your turn, you are mounted inside a tiny little pen and they count down to your release. Once out, you buck as wildly as possible because they have your balls pinched up and obviously you want this guy off you cause you’re pissed about what’s happening with your juevos. When you finally fling him off, there are these guys that stand around the ring, trying to make you more upset. At this point you’ve had enough so you charge at them. Like cowards they scramble up the side of the ring, out of your way. If you want to hear the crowd squeal, buck one more time. The crowd loves that. Now if you’re lucky, and I mean really lucky, every so often one of those taunting SOB’s is not paying attention. JACKPOT!”
Hehe I’ll stop there. What happened next I saw in slow motion. This man was walking in the ring NOT PAYING ATTENTION! Old man, when dealing with a two- ton animal, you need to be looking around, ready to scramble. What I can’t understand is how he didn’t see it coming. He had his back to a small portion of the ring, with the rest of it in plain sight. If the bull is not in front of you, guess where it is? That bull came right up behind and FLUNG HIM in the air. I watched it all go down, wishing I could have screamed for him to move. He was up and just as fast plummeted down. That bull missed crushing his leg by a couple inches. Boy, did he get lucky! He finally scrambled out of the ring to safety. CRAZY!!!
After that Colleen and I decided to leave. How could it get any better than that? BUT JUST THEN a big black mass flutters in front of the light… almost blocking it out completely. I watch it, knowing exactly what it must be, and I think you do too… SEÑOR GRASSHOPPER!!! I cannot lose this guy! He sat on the wire, munching little bugs, thinking he was slick, but I saw him. I see you there, terrorizing me, Grasshopper! I’ll get my revenge soon enough…
“So first the rider chooses you or your compadre out of a hat. Next, when it’s your turn, you are mounted inside a tiny little pen and they count down to your release. Once out, you buck as wildly as possible because they have your balls pinched up and obviously you want this guy off you cause you’re pissed about what’s happening with your juevos. When you finally fling him off, there are these guys that stand around the ring, trying to make you more upset. At this point you’ve had enough so you charge at them. Like cowards they scramble up the side of the ring, out of your way. If you want to hear the crowd squeal, buck one more time. The crowd loves that. Now if you’re lucky, and I mean really lucky, every so often one of those taunting SOB’s is not paying attention. JACKPOT!”
Hehe I’ll stop there. What happened next I saw in slow motion. This man was walking in the ring NOT PAYING ATTENTION! Old man, when dealing with a two- ton animal, you need to be looking around, ready to scramble. What I can’t understand is how he didn’t see it coming. He had his back to a small portion of the ring, with the rest of it in plain sight. If the bull is not in front of you, guess where it is? That bull came right up behind and FLUNG HIM in the air. I watched it all go down, wishing I could have screamed for him to move. He was up and just as fast plummeted down. That bull missed crushing his leg by a couple inches. Boy, did he get lucky! He finally scrambled out of the ring to safety. CRAZY!!!
After that Colleen and I decided to leave. How could it get any better than that? BUT JUST THEN a big black mass flutters in front of the light… almost blocking it out completely. I watch it, knowing exactly what it must be, and I think you do too… SEÑOR GRASSHOPPER!!! I cannot lose this guy! He sat on the wire, munching little bugs, thinking he was slick, but I saw him. I see you there, terrorizing me, Grasshopper! I’ll get my revenge soon enough…
